Rant: Conditioner

Wanna' know what grinds my gears? Conditioner, you know? The stuff you put in your hair? It really bugs me.

I'm going to tell you the story that has happened to me a bazillion times.
I wake up. Turn off my alarm and slowly, groggily make my way to the bathroom. I get into the shower and turn the water on. I get my whole body and hair all good and wet. A lot of the time I do this with my eyes closed because it's a routine thing. I have showered many times before. It comes time to use some shampoo. I blindly grab the bottle from the shower shelf and squeeze a gob in my hand. I plop the gob on my head and begin to massage it into my hair. I keep rubbing... Something doesn't feel right... Where's the bubbles? That familiar soapy lather? I open my eyes and turn to look at that bottle. What is this??? IT'S CONDITIONER. What does this stuff even do?? It's good for nothing! All I know is that my Mom uses it to tame her wild mane (I'm so glad that she didn't pass that down to me). I don't have long uncontrollable hair. I don't need it. My mom keeps buying the "Head and Shoulders" two pack. (If you're wondering. I'm 18 and it's pretty much still okay to live in your parents house.)

Look at these. If both were the same way, cap side up and the shower was all steamy you probably couldn't tell:

My question for you is...Does this ever happen to you? Or am I just weird like that? With that, I end my little rant.

Rant: Shaving

Wanna know what grinds my gears??? RAZORS. Yeah, razors. The kind you shave with. Mainly disposable ones... When I'm using a brand new disposable one, it gives me a good, clean shave. Next time, it's just an "okay" shave. Then the third time, I forget to use a new one and it leaves razor bumps all over my soft and touchable neck?!?! It looks like THIS!

                                                                       GROSS EH???


WHATS UP WITH THAT? Now it looks like I have acne all over it. Do you even know how many greasy foods I have to turn down, in order to keep my blemishes under control? And my skin, so silky soft? NO, YA DON'T. It really TICKS ME OFF. I use shaving cream and all that. I rinse my face with hot/warm water before shaving to open up the pores. I rinse the blade with cold water because it apparently helps the blade cut better (I don't know if this is really true). After a while of using shaving cream and getting nicks and cuts, I decided to do without it. I got a brand new disposable razor out and went REALLY SLOWLY AND CAREFULLY. I ended up with a great shave! Then I tried it again next shave with the same razor and it turned out to be just "meh". I can't use a razor once and just throw it out. I pay money for those. I better be getting more than one use for my money. For some men shaving just a routine thing. For me it's a chore and a bother. Why can't it be socially acceptable to have a wild and untamed beard?


Like these:




Look at those gents, they look alright?
Sometimes I wish that we were as technologically advanced as The Jetsons. The Jetsons was such a good show. It's 2011! Why don't we have flying cars and robot-maids and machines that wash and shave you? It's not laziness, IT"S TECHNOLOGICAL ADVANCEMENT! In the 60's people thought that today, we would be zipping around in the air and have self cleaning rooms and all that stuff. What did we get? The Interweb and cellphones...They are okay, but I want that awesome stuff that we hear of and see in the futuristic sci-fi stories and films.

This ^^^ would be awesome...And with that I am done this rant. Future, you better be giving me some good stuff.

Hello again!

Hello there! I apologize for not updating the blog for a while. First it was march break, which I used to rest and relax. Second there was a big disaster in Japan that is officially called the 2011 Tōhoku earthquake and tsunami. I won't go into too much detail because I'm sure you have probably heard about it on the news and you can easily do a Google search. Please donate if you are able. But take caution when you donate because for every major disaster that happens, there will always be some evil person who tricks you into giving them money instead of giving it to those in need. Give to The Red Cross, as they are a well known and reputable organization that's first priority is saving lives. Japan is a developed country and they can rebound from this crisis. What they need is medical supplies and people to volunteer there to help injured people. The Red Cross can do that. Visit their website for info. 


http://www.redcross.org/

Death From Above 1979 Reunion

If you haven't heard, Death From Above 1979, the Toronto based Canadian dance-punk/Noise Rock duo, are back! DFA 1979 is made up of Jesse F. Keeler, who went on to start the electronic group MSTRKRFT with producer Al-P, and Sebastien Grainger who went on to front Sebastien Grainger and The Mountains. They came onto the Canadian music scene in 2001 with the Heads Up EP. In 2004 they released their only full length album to date, You're a Woman, I'm a Machine (which is certified gold in Canada). Once the album took off they played an insane number of tour dates from late 2004 to late 2005. They took their loud, heavy and fast paced music across Canada, U.S.A., UK, Europe, Australia and Japan. They even supported well known groups, Queens of the Stone Age and Nine Inch Nails.


As of August 3, 2006 the band officially disbanded. Jesse F. Keeler posted a message on the official Death from Above 1979 forum and website giving a statement about why they broke up. 


After 5 years of silence, fast forward to February 4th, 2011. Their website now remade and with message on the band's homepage. It was an announcement stating that they are back together and will be playing the Coachella festival in April, in Indio, California. A few days later they posted a 27 second teaser. It's grainy and jittery, but it shows their new headquarters that they have dubbed their "noise cave".


I am extremely excited that they are back together. I have loved their music for a long time and I have basically listened to their album non-stop for weeks at a time (it's seriously that good). I really hope they come do a show in my town. Last time they did, it was 2005 on my 12th birthday! I couldn't have gone by myself...I don't think I had discovered them yet... 
I highly suggest listening to their stuff. If you like rock, metal, punk, alternative rock, funky bass, loud music or basically if you like having fun give em' a listen. 


Here's their website:
http://deathfromabove1979.com/blog/

Here's the previously mentioned video:

HEADQUARTERS from DEATH FROM ABOVE 1979 on Vimeo.

Here's there first track off of "You're a Woman, I'm A Machine". For best results, turn it up loud. It's quiet at the beginning ; ).

This is the second track and perhaps my favorite.

Rant: Dr. Scholl's Skin Tag Remover

On T.V. theres this advertisment for Dr. Scholl's Skin Tag Remover. The product is basically a type of medication that helps get rid of little flaps of skin some people have on their body called "skin tags". It freezes the skin tag and it eventually falls off.

 The above picture is a skin tag and an example of what the product does.

In the commercial there is a mother and daughter sitting outside in a hammock on a nice sunny day. The girl says "Mommy you have such pretty eyes, and beautiful hair". The mother smiles and replies, "So do you!". The little girl then says..."EWW WHAT'S THAT" and points at the skin tag. Then they do their whole product spiel.

In my opinion this is a really strange commercial. They make you feel all good with having a nice happy setting and believable characters. There's a cute little girl, they are smiling and everything. Then they drop the bomb. They make the mother feel all inadequate by picking on her blemishes. In turn, the viewer of this commercial will feel self-conscious and then they will feel that they need this product so they can get rid of their skin tags and feel normal. That's how I view it. I'm not an expert on how advertising works. I don't know if it's a good way of selling their product and helping people stop being self conscious about their blemishes, from an advertising standpoint. I must read more about the advertising biz. I want to get inside the heads of the people who make these ads. For now I must observe until I have a greater knowledge about that sort of thing.

P.S. here's said commerical:

Juggalo Walking Down the Street

Today I am walking home from school with my friends. I part ways with my them, turn the corner and continue walking down the street. I look down the long street and I see a man with baggy jeans and a jacket, walking on the opposite side of the road and crossed to my side. I didn't see his face because it was sort of hidden by a crooked baseball cap and he was looking down at a cell phone. I could now see his face but an alarm went off in my mind- his face was white with black accents around his features. What I saw looked a little like this...

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!!

I recognized it quickly. It was a "Juggalo". They are fans of the notorious hardcore rap group "Insane Clown Posse". From what I have seen on the inter-web some of them are really an insane bunch. Many people know about the “F**king Magnets, How Do They Work?" internet meme, and when I saw this character all I could think of was " F**KING MAGNETS". It was as if the internet and the real world were crossing over for a moment. I really wanted to say something like "Hey, man I have this magnet. How does it work?". I couldn't get myself to do it. It could have been epic... It could have ended badly... alas I will never know...

Rant: Headphones

You wanna know what really grinds my gears?

HEADPHONES!

Yes! Headphones, earphones, ear-buds, whatever you want to call them. I don't like em'. So you're sitting there doing important business and listening to some music with ear-buds (like the iPod variety). All of a sudden something comes up, like someone is giving instructions, and you need to put your music away for a minute or so. When you take your headphones back out they are in a giant tangled ball . I get so frustrated at this and it makes me want to invent some sort of sub-dermal implant that just beams the music to your brain, so I don't have to worry about the stupid little ear-pieces tangling, breaking, cracking or getting chewed on by pets.

Now I'm going to talk about the quality of headphones and my experience with the many I have had. Basically  my summary is IT SUCKS. I have literally gone through at least 15 pairs. You're probably thinking I'm doing something wrong. Well, I think the people who make the stuff are doing wrong. It doesn't matter if they are $2, $10, $20, $50 or $200, they won't last you more than a few months. If your lucky you may get a good pair that will last you a few years.

I used my iPod touch's standard white iPod earphones for a good long time. Then my cousin's cute, but sometimes stupid, dog chewed them up. I sort of fixed them and used them for a while, a few bite-marks but they worked fine. Later I traded that set to my cousin for her headphones with the built in microphone that I could use with my touch. The next time I dog-sat for them, their dumb dog destroyed two pairs of my headphones, the ones with the microphone and another. The worst part was after she did that, SHE PEED IN MY BED! I was pretty pissed off and pissed on... My cousin told me that her family went through the same thing, tonnes of chewed cords, headsets, stuffed animals and other things. I felt a little better knowing that I wasn't the only one in the same position.



Time passes and one day, I thought I was a big shot so I went and bought those nice big Bose over-ear, noise cancelling, extra bass headphones.

Here they are:

Cool eh'? Well yeah, they were for the first two or 3 months. 

One day I picked them up and examined them before putting them on. I noticed a small crack on the right side of the plastic holding the right ear piece. I circled it in the picture [SEE ABOVE PHOTO]. I didn't think much of it at first, but after a while I sort of noticed the crack getting bigger. To avoid further breaking I decided to slather a little glue on the crack. It didn't help. It kept on getting worse until it inevitably snapped in two.

I put some glue on it and left if for 48 hours. I fixed my precious headphones! I sat down and happily listened to some music for an hour or so until the stupid right ear piece popped right off and landed in my lap. I was back to square one.  I tried every brand of glue or tape imaginable, but since the angle of the crack was weird, nothing worked. 

I eventually went to the store and found a pair of headphones for $2! The quality was surprisingly good. Now they are the main set I use. But the story doesn't end here. I used the $2 set for about 5 months or so, then the left audio jack contact on my iPod touch stopped working properly. It only works if you twist it into a good position and don't move the iPod around. This is really annoying because I listen to my iPod all the time and I can't really walk around without fiddling with it every few minutes to get the sound to come out from the left earphone. I have tried cleaning lint out of the jack, swabbing it with alcohol, prodding it with a toothpick and some other stuff...nothing works. 

I hope I can fix this. Then I can go back to my musical groovin'.